Painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk
kate: “what the hell is so special about scott mccall?”
me: *breaks out power point and twenty page thesis statement*
girls are really intimidating
homework to do: hella
homework i’ve done: negative hella
It’s messing people up, this social pressure to ‘find your passion’ and ‘know what it is you want to do’. It’s perfectly fine to just live your moments fully and marvel as many small and large passions, many small and large purposes, enter and leave your life. For many people there is no realization, no bliss to follow, no discovery of your life’s purpose. This isn’t sad, it’s just the way things are. Stop trying to find the forest and just enjoy the trees.
all i did this year was get more gay
i. I think I have fallen in love with September because of the way it is the beginning of change, or the end of it. You see, it is the when I say goodbye to my flip-flops and bikinis, when I turn my back on the scorching summer sun. But I am welcomed in the arms of colored leaves and Autumn breezes and I have never felt more in place.
ii. September weeped with me when I was left by the first boy I ever kissed. It witnessed a bright sunflower transforming into a dead tree with bare branches, not a leaf in sight. The dirt swallowed my tears and the wind covered up my cries. It stayed with me night after night until the sleeves of my sweaters dried up.
iii. I learned that trees did not die when the weather turned cooler in September. The falling of leaves is what helps the tree survive through a bitter cold winter. It seals the places where leaves would grow in order to skip the game of death. So maybe people are that way too, closing up and thinking it is the end; but it is not.
iv. Somehow, I like to associate September with endings but I have to say that it has brought many new starts in my life as well. Friendships, new hot drinks at my favorite coffee places, odd adventures, and new feelings.
v. Change isn’t bad. Change is the falling of leaves; one, two, three leaves slowly touching the ground. And between those shades of orange and yellow and brown is a voice calling your name. You may not want to make a mess but you’ll end up with a smile on your face the second you dare to jump in.
I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone.
I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone.
It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.
I like eating alone, and listening to music alone.
But when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her lover, or a friend laughing with their best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely. The sky is beautiful, but the people are sad. I just need someone who won’t run away.